Don't you ever get this feeling sometimes, that you should've been doing something else with your life? That years ago, while you were floundering around aimlessly, somebody should've been there to grab you by the shoulders, slap some sense into you, look you in the eye and tell you to pursue your deepest dreams and not to give a fuck about anything else.
It's easy to pin a blame. For the rut you're stuck in now. For the fact that you're on the otherside, enviously... staring at the people who have found love in what they do. But then a voice says, 'at least you're gonna have a better income'. Or 'hey you could've been worse off'. And then you kinda sorta give in, feeling that yeah you were probably never meant to follow your dreams anyway, 'cause dreams vanish when u wake up. Wake up! You will have mouths to feed, bills to pay, you're gonna be working like shit anyway. Rhyming. That's something i like to do. But I digress. It's easy, like I said. To argue that as kids, we didnt know better. Nobody told us to follow our hearts. And hence this. But the fucking truth of the matter is, that we were afraid. Still afraid.
Would it be any different though? I wish sometimes i had the all powerful Save/Load option. Perhaps then I would make that all important decision, just to find out. Would I have gotten to where I had hoped to be? Or would my waxen wings melt in pursuit of my romantic cloud-chasing? Ironically though, if I had known the answer to these questions, life would be just as meaningless. Where is the meaning in pursuing your dreams knowing that they would undoubtedly be fulfilled?
Why couldnt we bring ourselves to make that leap of faith? *boing!* To place our lives in the hands of uncertainty and just enjoy the ride. As long as you love what you do, everything should work itself out right?
Take two. Let's try: Learn to love what you do. Learn to finish the goddamn job.
At 19. I shouldnt have this many regrets. I have enough to last me till 80, let's try not to add to the tally. At least, not this one.
